100*

Projecting strength and preserving image can too easily become a fashion in leadership as well as design.  If we be obsess over our own perfection we will project unrealistic expectations on others and have no way to process failure or deal with trauma. This vulnerability and honesty is one of the things I appreciate about the Psalms. 

The Psalms have been helpful in affirming the reality of help in struggle and the light of the Lord’s love through darkness. 

While we do not know all that is coming or understand all that is going on we do have a choice about how we respond and that does impact and affect what happens next. Romanticised pietism will not prevail through adversity. 

The Psalms give a perspective of praise that is both realistic and real. If being battered by troubles punctures our pathetic perfectionism and breaks its tyranny we will be better off for it. God is with us and because of his mercy, grace and hope we are not demoralised or defeated.

Transcript

Day 100*

I marked this as 100* because in cricket the asterisk next to the number signifies “not out”. This 100th entry is not the end but it is a milestone and a pause.

When I started Counting my Blessings on July 3rd I was sincerely hoping that I would be fully recovered from my ankle surgery when I got to this day. I have certainly made a lot of progress but I have still to take my first step and hope to do that on Friday.

My initial idea was that by Day 100 I would have resolved all the outstanding issues and skip off into the sunset sharing a feel good, happy ending. One of the key things I have learned through these days is that we don’t get to decide the arc of the story of our lives or determine what plot twists we will experience on the way. 

Since May I have had major surgery on my arm and ankle, continued to live through a global pandemic, been waiting for our visa to be granted and faced significant challenges at work. It has been a difficult and frustrating time.

Ailsa asked me yesterday if I was surprised that we had not killed each other . I said i was a bit surprised that she had not murdered me but my killing her would have been completely counter productive. She has been immense through all the challenges and handling all the extra work and worry that I have caused.

I am very grateful for all the love, support, practical care and encouragement that I have received in this season from Ailsa and from many others.

When I had the idea of doing this daily entry I intended it purely as a discipline for myself. I was feeling a little beaten and bruised and I thought that the habit of giving thanks for something each day would help me stay positive. I have not felt like writing something every day but I have persevered and it has been of value to me. What has taken me by surprise is the amount of conversation it has sparked and the huge encouragement this has given me. Counting my blessings has brought me a lot more blessing than I was counting on.

It is not easy going through difficulty to know how much to share. I was reading an article today where French fashion designer Olivier Rousteing  revealed how he had been badly hurt when a fireplace in his home exploded last year. He had kept his accident secret. During his recovery he had hidden his injuries during public appearances and interviews with long sleeves, accessories and jewellery. 

"I did everything to hide this story from as many people as possible and trying to keep the secret with my teams and friends for too long. To be honest I am not really sure why I was so ashamed, maybe this obsession with perfection that fashion is known for and my own insecurities..." 

 Projecting strength and preserving image can too easily become a fashion in leadership as well as design.  If we be obsess over our own perfection we will project unrealistic expectations on others and have no way to process failure or deal with trauma. This vulnerability and honesty is one of the things I appreciate about the Psalms. 

When I started counting my blessings I determined to read a psalm each day so that the number of the psalm corresponded to the appropriate day. I kept notes of these in a separate file but at some point the engagement with scripture grew beyond the Psalms and began to shape many of the journal entries. 

 The Psalms have been helpful in affirming the reality of help in struggle and the light of the Lord’s love through darkness. 

While we do not know all that is coming or understand all that is going on we do have a choice about how we respond and that does impact and affect what happens next. Romanticised pietism will not prevail through adversity. The Psalms give a perspective of praise that is both realistic and real. If being battered by troubles punctures our pathetic perfectionism and breaks its tyranny we will be better off for it. God is with us and because of his mercy, grace and hope we are not demoralised or defeated.

Psalm 100 is an exhortation to praise the Lord cheerfully, to shout for joy and worship with gladness. It contains a fantastic reminder to remember:

“Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his ; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture” (100:3)

The God who made us takes care of us. There is comfort in belonging. Protection and provision are afforded and occasion thanksgiving and praise. The psalm concludes with further reminders about the nature of God.

“For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.” (100:5)

In the midst of suffering and difficulty it is the nature of God more than the existence of God that is put under the microscope. The psalmist affirms the goodness, enduring love and long term faithfulness of God.

On a number of occasions I have quoted from the Message translation, which again here brings a fresh vibrancy through its use of language.

“On your feet now-applaud GOD! 
Bring a gift of laughter, sing yourselves into his presence.
Know this: GOD is God, and God, GOD. 
He made us; we didn't make him. 
We're his people, his well-tended sheep.
Enter with the password: "Thank you!" 
Make yourselves at home, talking praise. 
Thank him. Worship him. 
For GOD is sheer beauty, all-generous in love, 
loyal always and ever.” (100:1-5 MSG)

I am not quite literally on my feet but I can applaud. One of the lesson of counting my blessings for 100 days has been appreciating that “thank you” is indeed a password that opens up a whole different vista. This being Canadian Thanksgiving weekend seems an appropriate time to be bringing this series to a close.

I am not intending to stop counting my blessings but today marks the final C.M.B. episode. My plan is to go back and stitch together the early reflections on psalms with their equivalent daily thoughts and perhaps turn them into podcasts.

Today I am thankful for the surgeons, anaesthetists, nurses, technicians and pedorthists who have looked after me. On top of the people I am grateful for the ton of stuff which has helped me get through. I am thankful for the external fixator, knee scooter, air cast, shower chair, crutches, ramp, stools, medicines, dressings, bone stimulator and cryotherapy machine which have enhanced mobility, protected from infection, reduced swelling and promoted healing. 

I am also thankful for Ailsa in particular and friends, family, colleagues and neighbours who have prayed, encouraged, helped and supported through these months, weeks and days. I appreciate you.

Most of all I thank the Lord for his grace and goodness.

On November 10th 1942 Winston Churchill made an oft quoted statement 

"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."

The next chapter begins and the need for faith, patience, strength and courage continues. I will keep you posted of my progress.

If you have got into the habit of counting days with me - it is 76 days to Christmas.

When I wrote those words on the 10th of October and finished the series of “Counting my Blessings” posts it was 100 days ago. I followed through on my idea and have published 100 podcasts combining the original posts and some additional thoughts from the psalms. I am not sure what comes next but I am thinking the podcast will become less of a daily thing.

If you have been listening – thank you for your company and your encouragement. I hope to catch up soon. 

The thumbnail for this episode says “God’s goodness shows up in our lives every day”

 This has been my experience although my sin and selfishness also show up in my life every day.

Which is why as I have said on a few occasions.

 God loves you
His word is true
The Resurrection of Jesus changes everything
Our hope is real
Be strong in Grace
Encourage the good
And may the Lord Bless You